Scrambled Brains

I can always tell when it's been a little too long since a good workout, a long girls night out, or just enough time to read a good book even, because I go crazy. It all started about a year ago when I gave birth to my perfect child number 4. He ruined me. (half joking) Not his fault. My brain has gone - well - away. And it only comes back after I work out consistently and not half A'ed either. A good, sweaty, heavy breathing work out. Gotta release those endorphins and crazy bugs. Haven't had a girl night out with all my peeps since Christmas, except for 4 wonderful but still slightly stressful days in Miami (I know that sounds contradicting but it's true), so to make up for the lack of heavy laughter I've tried to do Zumba 2-3 times a week. Well for almost two weeks now my instructor I like has been injured. So I haven't been going. And. I. Can. Tell. I'm pretty sure if I cared enough to ask my husband to comment on the matter he would concur. And there lies the reason for this post. My husband seriously drives me CRAZY! I am still unsure if it's on purpose or not. Or if it's not "on purpose" if he even realizes he does it. And then my psycho brain kicks in and says "but Pam - maybe it's you. Maybe you're being selfish." *sigh Can you see the problem. This post is such a rambling.
Let's just put it this way. From now on I am going to keep a log of every time my husband leaves the house for anything other than work and for how long he's gone. Then every time we have a conversation about when I can go out and play it is being tape recorded. BUT to make it fair I will also log my own activities that require me to be gone when Chad is home. So that we may see if this little debate is truly me being crazy and selfish or if I am justified in my belief that I am being smothered by my 24/7 on call job called MOMMY.

P.S. Don't mind me. I really just need to blow some steam without making the neighbors wonder why I'm out on the front lawn screaming. Good thing Zumba is tomorrow. I NEED it!!!