Ok. I try really hard NOT to do this. But I need to vent. I have been so stressed and overwhelmed lately. This week has been super busy. Which is the way I like it. But certain things are pushing me to the breaking point.
On Sunday, I usually look at the coming week and see what is in the plans. I knew this week was packed full so I made Chad sit with me and discuss everything we had going on, so that we were on the same page. I told him I knew this week was going to be stressful and we needed to remember that we're both busy so don't get upset with the other when all we get to do is see each other in and out the door.
Going through my schedule would take too long. But I've been swamped all day with the kids. Then every night Chad and I have something going on. Usually enough that I leave as soon as he's home from work, then he leaves when I get home later on too. (Almost every day.) Yesterday to throw in something extra my friend had her baby, so me and another friend went to go see her. I took Chase so Chad could get the lawn mowed. I got home in time for Chad to leave for church basketball, which I had to hurry to do. I get home and he tells me he's not going. This is after I got a guilt trip for going to the hospital at all. Every time I try to go anywhere I get a guilt trip (it seems to me) and then when I stress to get home like I'm supposed to all I hear is that he's not going to go now and why didn't I stay out later if that's what I wanted....but if I do stay out later then I get in "trouble" for not coming home "on time"! What the heck!?!? Then this morning all my children are pissy so we start the day off by mommy yelling at everybody to get out the door on time. Children continue to be fussy all day, so mommy is mad all day. Lunch gets spilled all over the floor, Chase can't poop without help, Kyla wants to wear filthy clothes, I say no, she throws a HUGE fit about how she wants her daddy, Daija whines about who knows what... When will it end!?!? I'm seriously going to have a nervous breakdown. O wait. I still have a party to go to tonight, and another one tomorrow. That I can't skip cause I RSVP. But I know as soon as Chad gets home tonight from flag football it's going to be the same old story about how I'M THE ONE ALWAYS GONE.
AND...I asked him to take a day off in October so I could do something that I've wanted to do for a couple of months now...my response? "I don't want to take vacation time to babysit the kids." ?!?!?!?! What the hell do I do every day of every week?!?! But "it's my calling" as a mom. Ya. OK. This mom is about to lose it! I need some serious help. And have none. Nice. Please tell me what I'm supposed to do. HELP.
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I'm so sorry! I wish I could come take your kids. I hope that everything will work out. Love ya! Hey you could try coming to Canada with your kids, leaving Chad at home and then we could do something. :) I don't know if it would be stress free but I'd love to see you and it would teach him a lesson. :)
ReplyDeletethat does sound hectic...it was like that for us when ty had school and work- plus he had extracurricular stuff...i mostly wanted him home to spend time with us. i had to lay it out that he wasn't single anymore and had family responsibilities which INCLUDED quality time with us whether he liked it or not :) he eventually acknowledged that fact & was more considerate with what he took on. he also realizes that if i don't get some alone time i become a CRAZY lady and he BEGS me to leave for a while :)
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