For Me

The more I study for my mini lesson I'm giving in May to the Relief Society sisters the more I am convinced it is for me and not for them. I have often believed and may have stated it in my last post that this is often the case. Many speakers in Sacrament meeting say it was more for them. My topic has been narrowed down to how to keep our minds and our bodies healthy, clean, and holy. I only get 20 minutes and this is going to be hard to keep it in time.

My friend and I made a goal a little while back to train and run the Tinkerbell Half Marathon in Disneyland May 2015. Just so you know - I don't run. I have never been a runner. Even in High School when I was in the best shape of my life and could dead lift 400 pounds at the peak of awesomeness - I would skip cardio days. I loathed running. For several years I have tried and tried and failed in my attempts to become a runner. It is hard for me. It is not enjoyable for me; until I'm done that is. The feeling I get after my workout on the elliptical is very invigorating and inspiring. I even feel like I could have kept going, even though when I quit it was because I was exhausted! I am making extremely small baby steps. I can go for 4 miles on the elliptical on a good day. We ran outside for the first time last Saturday. It was HARD! I could only run 1 mile, speed walk for a mile and a half, run for 1 mile, speed walk the rest. But in total we went 3.8 miles and that is by far the most I've ever "run" in my whole life. Everyone says it gets easier. I hope so. I tend to think that as I keep training and my endurance gets higher, the weight will start to come off. My goal is not to lose weight. I have 30 lbs to spare but my goal is to run the half marathon. Losing weight will be the icing on the cake!

I've noticed a small trend in the last month or so. My consciousness of what food I eat is better. I tend to drink more water than I ever have. (This has always been a struggle.) And the most amazing one I have realized most recently is my desire to quit drinking soda. This is something extremely hard for me. I am an addict. Drinking Dr Pepper every day feels like a lifeline. I know that sounds exaggerated. But it's the truth. Have you ever been addicted to anything and then tried to not do it? It could be anything. Drugs, Alcohol, Prescriptions, Sex are all extreme addictions. But what about talking to the same person every day, eating the same thing for breakfast, driving to the same place the same way every day, having to do something every day the exact same because it is a habit? It doesn't have to be a BAD habit to still be a habit and changing habits is difficult. Some days I feel like I will lose my sanity if I just don't go get a drink from the gas station, and then I do and I feel comforted and safe and like I can go on with my day and everything is going to be OK. This is a big confession. Please don't judge too harshly. So the trend... I have had the desire to not drink it. My logic kicks in and my brain says I don't need it. I would be able to cut so many calories out of my daily diet. I could run faster and feel better without all the sugar. I have the logic and a lot of desire. And then the habit kicks in. Feeling like something in my day is missing and I'm lost without direction because I haven't done my routine. So far the habit has been winning. I would like to believe this will change. I hope and actually pray to be able to break the addiction. As my body becomes stronger and my mind becomes clearer and more alert through my good habits of getting up early and exercising my body in a consistent manner, I hope I can gain the strength of WILL to quit. It should be interesting to say the least. This is new territory for me. I guess if there is anybody actually reading this we will be on the journey together. Someone once said that stating goals or announcing a resolve to do something publicly boosts the chances of it actually happening, and helps hold you accountable to actually achieving it. Here's to hoping it is true!

Technically, I guess this announces two goals. RUN the half marathon next May. And quit drinking Dr Pepper. Both seem like pretty gigantic goals. ....... One day at a time! One effort at a time!